Love and a chair
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Remember I asked how to force yourself to wish for something? Thanks to your advice and the information I read on the Internet, I managed to feel my desires. And I want to please myself. And why is this not a reason to make yourself a gift? I really wanted it to be something unique, only for me, sensual and aesthetically beautiful. ⠀
And I found this perfect gift... A performance for solo spectator. For me. From the beautiful girls, creators Nelya and Inna.
The plot there is my life, the actor there is me, myself and I...
Coincidentally, I asked in advance to put a chair there for me. After all, lying on the floor and getting back up is still difficult for me. They put the chair in the center. And already sitting I realized that it reminds me of a scene from my childhood, when being in kindergarten I took a chair, put it in the center of the room and watched the other children. And it has always been that way. All my life I watched others, their emotions and experiences, tried to understand them and feel them. Always but yesterday. Yesterday I was sitting on that chair and there was no one around. There was just me and my feelings. And despite the longstanding work with a counsellor, self-knowledging and psychoanalysis that I have been going through in the past few years, I was sitting there realizing that until that moment I knew so little about my feelings. And all that internal revolt that is now happening is because it seems to be a shout : "Masha, you have YOUR feelings and emotions, we are here inside, do not run away from us, understand us and feel us, accept us and get in love with us."
The “Сamera” is an unforgettable experience, and I recommend everyone to go through. Everyone who wants to get to know him or herself in real life, to fell in love with himself or herself. I did it yesterday. Thank you 🙏